Kindness.

It’s Business and Tech week over at #WinterABC2021 and although I have fallen off my writing track, I have been following other writers’ work during the challenge and I am thoroughly enjoying it.

I work in the business world and over the past two to three years, business has really gone digital, no more physical presence, I email you my work, you get it done, send it on a boda boda and I pay via Mobile Money. Done! It works for both me and the end user especially during this pandemic.

The downside of this has been in the way people can sometimes be uncultured, rude and mean. I think there are some things we wouldn’t say to a person while staring at them dead in the eye, but we do it all the time behind our phones.

The truth is that we are all imperfect and so are our small businesses. There are real people with real feelings behind these services you enjoy. So before you tweet how horrible a product or service is, remember that there are people behind these businesses who are willing to learn as they go.

For most of the small businesses, no one really has experience. We are all learning as we go. Putting our best foot forward every single day. The appreciation from a satisfied customer keeps building on our faith, the silent criticism helps us do better and improve on the services and products we offer.

All I am really saying is that we should do better. Be kinder especially when giving criticism. It helps to do that after the heat of delay and disappointment (which are bound to happen sometimes), inbox the service provider and be honest whilst giving your feedback. Do speak the truth in love, season the criticism with pinches of Aromat because that issshh goes straight to the heart.

Be kinder when talking to people online, man people be going through things we have no idea about, carrying loads we ourselves may not be able to carry if our lives were switched. So look beyond their social media life and know that these are REAL people with emotions, dreams and struggles.

Let your words [criticism and feedback], uplift, make better and bring joy to the receiver and not the other way round. It would be very sad if someone gave up on pursuing their dream because of your said feedback!

Also be kind to the waiters and waitresses, that job isn’t as easy as we see it. Again, they are people just like you and I (I wonder why we keep forgetting that). Give a little extra grace to the newbie cashier at the supermarket. They’ll get a hang of it, for now though, they are learning and they need your kindness more than ever.

Choose kindness!

To the Late Bloomer; (A Letter)

I am pretty sure you’ve been around people who bloomed later than other people in their circles; in terms of body growth, success and relationships. The people who apparently take longer than others are often referred to as “late bloomers”. I say apparently because the standards are basically set by society basing on statistics and numbers of the average person for example, girls should be able to start their period between the ages of 12 and 14, some people start at 16, the pressure that exists from the anticipated age to the actual age they start is terrifying. It can be a bit much.

A late bloomer is consistently on the edge, trying to prove their worth to anybody who cares to listen. They are often people who work twice as hard as a normal person, giving their best but seeing the results way later than is expected.

To the late bloomer, you’re Enough! You’re doing the best you can given the circumstances. Know that we are only in our own lanes, running our own races, how you finish your race is truly what matters plus how you treat those along your way.

You are not late, you’re on time. The world has been awaiting your arrival, now it’s ready to embrace what you have to give. Give it your best. Give it your all. Don’t stop to compare your journey to another, we are different and unique individuals and so are our journeys.

Don’t ever give up. Keep pushing. Believe in yourself. Learn from others. Embrace your unique journey and yourself. Your time is coming if only you keep putting in the work. The world gon see you killing Goliath and they will never know the bears and lions you killed as you prepared for this raised platform.

Dazzle them. Shine bright like the diamond you are. There is no such thing as a late bloomer, there is only blooming in God’s time.

Bloom!

For Your Heart and Mine❤️

I have found it really hard to write these past two days, anxiety and everything in between. A partial lockdown was announced in Uganda on Sunday, the anxiety and fear has been real from then on. Because you know as humans, we depend so much on what we know, FAMILIARITY. It’s comforting especially in times like these.

That’s why it’s hard to actually live life when everything is uncertain. It all becomes a blur and if I am not careful, I slip into a dark dark space. Everything feels so hard to do. Sometimes hopeless even.

I have learnt now that it begins with what I let my heart carry. The things I carry close to my heart, some good for me and others maybe not. I know now that what I carry in my heart matters. The matters of my heart matter.

The Bible does warn us on issues of the heart, it says that “We ought to guard our hearts above all things, for it is indeed the fountain of life”

Source: Pinterest

These days we talk alot about guarding, minding and taking care of our minds (something I totally agree with especially now in this pandemic), but I think we might have forgotten about the heart along the way, how to guard it and care for it.

So many heart breaks going on and it’s not always grief or something along those lines, for the most part it’s because we’ve left our hearts bare and unprotected. No wander, there’s so many situationships and friend zones and everything in between.

We believe just about anything someone says and take it to heart, spewing all kinds of emotions everywhere. We live for likes, views and comments. We’ve become so superficial.

We give people space in our hearts, rent-free because they hurt or betrayed us, we hold onto things that shouldn’t matter. We let a person in without knowing their INTENTIONS (which you have to know btw before letting anyone be a part of your life).

Here is the thing, I know that we say, “Emitima gya Kaluba” (to mean our hearts hardened), I am pretty sure it’s not true. Our hearts are made to feel, experience, (keep us alive obviously), and extend a part of ourselves to those we love which makes them SACRED and TENDER.

But like God, who is all knowing says, Guard your heart. Be gentle with it. Don’t be giving it away to everybody, every Tom, Dick & Harry. Not everything or everyone is good for you and your heart. Pass up on what doesn’t feel right.

Let your heart heal. Let things go. Love those that treat your heart right deeply. Pretty much with all you gat. But reserve some for yourself. You need to love yourself deeply too.

Sending loads of hugs and love to anyone grieving a loss of a loved one, anyone with bounts of anxiety and fear. I am not sure when or how, but I know it will get better. God gat us! Hang in there. Call someone to talk. Tell your people you love them. Be kind to yourself and others. Hold on to what feels light, easeful and good. It will get better, I am hopeful it will!

Listen to this song by Sauti Sol and if you are into it, make a hang in there playlist. It helps, I promise!

Evolve!

So you’ve established yourself as a writer. Great! You’ve probably been writing for the past say five or more years and everything is going great. The algorithm is doing its thing and you are proud of yourself or maybe not.

You are at the point you probably always wanted or dreamed of achieving and you’ve put in all the work to get there/here (where am I going with this?)

The point is, you should EVOLVE! I love me a cold coca cola, it’s refreshing and helps lift my spirits when I am down in the dumps. For me, coca cola bottles have quite the evolution and it’s beautiful. Most times as the consumer, I was very comfortable with the packaging, I loved it even but the guys over at the packaging centre weren’t, so they kept changing the look of their bottles until the one I am holding in my hands.

Source: Pinterest

Evolving doesn’t always need you to first reach your end or hit a wall, it simply needs to add on to your already dope skills and diverge to something close to what you were doing or something completely different.

This is what Anko Genius defines evolving as…

As a creative, one of the most important things you have to do for yourself is to consistently grow your art. Allow yourself to grow, learn and unlearn and Fail. Yes, it’s a part of the process too.

Last year during the world wide lockdown, I watched creatives share with the world parts of them we hadn’t known, a poet who sings (read Joseph Solomon), a writer who paints or teaches some kind of class, the list is endless except I can’t go without talking about the photographer who writes, dude is the ultimate flex. Watching all of this was and is still so beautiful 😍. It warms my heart to know that creatives today have learnt that you don’t just have to be one thing, you can be MULT-TALENTED or a person with MULTI-PASSIONS.

I must warn you though, it’s a beautiful thing to be multi talented, but that doesn’t mean you can do everything, you can just do what your good at and sometimes it’s writing a blog and running a podcast or doing Portrait Photography and running a YouTube channel that keeps me entertained. In truth you can’t be everywhere, so be where matters the most to you first!

So all I am saying is this, sign up for that Master class, learn a thing or two over on YouTube, sign up for a class even if it’s outside your established wall of perceived success. You never know, you never just know!

See you shortly and have an easeful and restful day whenever you’re reading this!

Create for you!

A month or so ago, I watched a video by one of my long time crushes, Joseph Solomon, who is a spoken word poet and artiste and overall creative. The video was titled get dressed for you. Prior to this video,it had never crossed my mind that I could really, intentionally dress for myself, I mean I was well on my journey of doing things for myself, but I hadn’t yet considered getting dressed for me. In a sense, this was sort of new to me.

Fast forward to a month or so after watching that video, I became very intentional in not just getting dressed for me but also creating especially writing for me. It has been the best decision I have made as an adult. It’s helped me to fight with fear and imposter syndrome, which is a real thing to be honest.

Creating for myself first has allowed me the authenticity and freedom that comes from being me. Telling a story from my own wells of depth without necessarily thinking about who else will read what I am writing, will they like it? Will they get what I am trying to put forward and so on and so forth. It’s a tedious stretch and it always drains me.

Creating for myself has given me a safety (is that the word I’m looking for? May be not…), kinda like a freedom to trust my voice, without the cruelty and harsh judgement of someone else’s voice. I have learnt to trust myself and my creative ventures and in a sense cast out that little queer voice of doubt in my head.

Most importantly, I have been able to appreciate other people’s art more and better, because now I understand that whatever they put out is for themselves first and sometimes when I don’t vibe with a video or podcast, I know that it’s for them before it’s mine and that’s absolutely okay.

While I know that it’s important to create for other people, which sometimes may be quite a sport, because we people are hard to please, I think that you should create content you yourself can consume. That should be the baseline!

See you shortly!