Wrapping up 2020

Sigh! What a year! And yet I can’t help but say, what a GOD! Flipping through my bullet journal really has me raising my hands in praise, because sheey, what a Dope God! God no go shame us was my mantra half way through it, may be from like September. God gat me held me through the tumultuous first half of this crazy year. At some point, all I did was survive and that in itself was enough. This year has been crazy, but it’s been a good one too, KG Brian said the other day that, it’s a bad year, not a bad life and I immediately shifted perspective, so with only a few hours left, let’s put this to a wrap.

What I learnt this year.

  1. Clients are not necessarily your friends. They can be friends but it’s not a MUST.
  2. Running to God doesn’t have to look the same every other day. Run to Him still.
  3. We all get 24 hours baby!
  4. Grief is a process, never looking the same every time and that’s still absolutely okay.
  5. You get what you’re worth + what you bargain for. (I learnt this from a Twitter thread and whew!)
  6. You don’t need to get back every opportunity you miss because sometimes there isn’t a next time.
  7. Stop clinging for dear life to tables you have to a carry a seat and have to fix yourself, for Godsakes, child, get up and leave. You’re not valued here.
  8. Build your own damn table.
  9. Praying on boda bodas can save your day and it will.
  10. Choose your hard. Literally every other day.
  11. God doesn’t sleep or slumber. Girrrlll, He knows!
  12. Growth can be Hella messy and so damn beautiful at the same time. Shine still baby, shine!
  13. Celebrate your people with everything in you. See Sama’s status for inspiration.
  14. Close some doors even without an explanation. Just close the damn door!
  15. Consistency is a blessing.
  16. Listen with everything, if and when you decide to listen.
  17. Careful who you spend time with,they have a ridiculous effect on you.
  18. Effort is errythang!
  19. Hold on to your mother’s hope. Somedays, that’s all you did.
  20. Gratitude is a must!
  21. Love yours.
  22. Music is therapy. I mean, music is therapy!

Things I am leaving in 2020.

  1. The need to compensate because I missed a gig or dinner or anything!
  2. The need to impress and please, except if I am doing it for me.
  3. Fixing myself on tables I am not valued or tolerated. Bye Felicia!
  4. Comparing; myself, my pain, other people. Not anymore.
  5. Listening to shallow conversations because I should.
  6. Friendships where I lose myself or parts of myself.

What I am carrying into 2021?

  1. Self care. Whatever way that looks for me.
  2. Clarity especially mental clarity.
  3. The ability to listen to my own voice without questioning it through the voice of others
  4. The ability to not lose my cool over someone’s else mood + small small things
  5. Eating healthy and working out CONSISTENTLY!
  6. Giving others room to grow and bloom and choose their way!
  7. Doing instead of over planning and waiting.

With that, happy new year folks!

Thank you for being a big part of my 2020. It has meant so much to my heart. My heart goes out to those who lost their loved ones; may God comfort and strengthen you. My heart also goes out to those who had a particularly difficult year, may you remember that He is close to the broken hearted. May you find strength in His relentless and reckless love.

May 2021 be good to you. May the Lord perfect that which concerns you and yours. May your cups overflow with cheer, joy and stomach-hurting-iam-out-of-breath laughter. May the things on your vision board come to pass! The Lord bless and keep you!

See y’all in 2021!

A MANTRA!

Nothing is guaranteed on earth. Nothing has ever been a given, well except for GOD, He is a given! No matter what, His still gonna be God till the end of time.

Other than that, everything else in life is fleeting. It changes. It’s bound to at some point. It’s funny how I remind myself of this truth when life throws me some punches and quickly forget it when life seems good. I forget to be in the moment because most times I am planning for the next thing, which by the way I have no idea how it’s going to happen, but still, I stay planning.

I forget that the only moment that’s a guarantee for me is now and if I miss it, well, it’s gone. I am never going to get it back. EVER. I have therefore decided to not only remind myself of the impermanence of things when life is haywire, but also when I am having my hot cup of tea in the morning or eating watermelon at the end of my day.

I am learning to be present in the moment. In my relationships, my work and my life. Nothing is guaranteed except the moment I have now, so why not make the best out of it.

Oh, Happy December! Merry Christmas to you and yours. Please be present as you celebrate this Christmas. It’s okay to put the phone down for a bit and enjoy the company of those around you.

Loads of hugs!❤️

Note to self.

Age isn’t just a number. I mean, it’s experience, maturity, growth. It’s scars. A whole bunch of them. It’s victories; both visible and invisible. Age is stories I’ve collected over time, only told in numbers.

Age isn’t what society expects of me. It’s far from comparing myself to my childhood friend who now drives a Red Volkswagen. It’s not the number of guys I have dated or the ones in my DMs. It’s not the pressure alluded to me by those who think they know me better than the one who created me. Age has never been compromise or defeat. Age isn’t some type of CLOCK.

Age is growth, continually choosing to grow in the things that set my soul on my fire and being very intentional about it. It’s connection to the people in my life, my family, my friends and strangers. Age is the places I get to travel, the books I get lost in, the songs that still my heart or those that get me moving my body. It’s the ability to appreciate my strengths whilst working on my weaknesses. The ability to see others as I do myself and giving them as much grace as I do myself. It’s in being confident in my inner voice, knowing when to push harder and when to quit. Age is trusting myself alittle more than I used to. It’s knowing I am running my own race and giving it the very best I can.

Age is being present in the moment; because hey, tomorrow is a mystery!

Permission Slip

Give yourself permission to bloom, to grow, to evolve, to change. To scream and cry and weep if you may; Give yourself permission to not know and learn and do something new. Give yourself permission to be present and in the moment and in tune with your emotions and the company around you. Give people permission to be themselves without trying to fit them in some type of box. Give others permission to choose, to fail, to learn and evolve. Give others permission to just be without judgement; without expectations.

On Exposure

Happy Monday y’all. I hope it’s off to a great start and if it’s not, I hope you find your footing. Also praying for anyone who is carrying things they can’t speak about yet, hey, God gat you!

New week means endless possibilities and immense opportunities even when it doesn’t feel like it and today feels like that for me, I know there are grand opportunities ahead of me but I am not yet ready to grasp them, but then again, its mid-morning on Monday so I still have time to come around and find my footing.

I wrote this post at the beginning of this month and simply kept it away, I kept adding tid-bits to it; in my journal, my phone and in my mind. I legit put it together early this morning and still kept it in my drafts for no particular reason but now that I need a little pick me up, this is a good place to start.

Exposure according to Google is;

the state of being exposed to contact with something.

the revelation of an identity or fact, especially one that is concealed or likely to arouse disapproval.

We expose ourselves to different things on a daily basis, some helpful and others absolutely trash. The things we expose ourselves to shape us (our thoughts, our conversations; generally our lives). It therefore is important to expose ourselves to things, people, places and food that is going to help us in the journey of becoming our best selves. The opportunities and possibilities that come our way speak volumes on the things we spend our time doing on a daily.

I know you’ve probably heard and occasionally dismissed quotes that show thebthe is it immense. Quotes like; “bad company corrupts good morals”, “Thieves and fools hung out in the same place” (this one is from mum😂), “An apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” and many others. I used to not believe them entirely, taking them as half-truths, but not anymore. I now know better.

The thing about exposure is, you literally become the things and people you are consistently around, it’s a given. Some habits you’ll inherit even without knowing or trying too hard, they will just rub off on you.  That’s why it’s absolutely important to surround yourself with people you want to be like; surround yourself with winners if you want to win. Sorround your self with like minded people. Also, once in a while get out of your comfort zone, listen to random music (I started listening to Jazz before bed and all I can say is, y’all ain’t readyyyy!), watch a random YouTube Video or Movie, one you wouldn’t typically watch, talk to random people; strangers even and LISTEN intently to what they have to say, you’ll be shocked and amazed. Attend workshops, seminars and forums of things you have interest in and those that you don’t. Your interests are ever-changing after-all.

The point I’m tryna put across is simple; expose yourself, get out of your comfort zone. Get yourself out in the world, the world is really big and it’s waiting on you to step out. Read different genres of books; books are a such win to expose yourself to all kinds of good stuff. Each writer has a different and beautiful flow, read as wide as you can, you could also read books written 50 years ago, they are wonderfully complex. I am currently indulging in Anam Cara by John O’Donohue which was written in 1997 and my oh my, pure bliss, (doesn’t matter that I keep a dictionary next to me.)

So friend, I know it’s Monday Night and which ever way the week has started for you, I hope you can still get out there and make the very best of it. I hope you attempt to get out of your comfort zone, who knows, you might find something new to obsess about or something to look forward to. Plus no one’s ever been hurt for being knowledgeable!

Happy rest of the week my friends.

Loads of Love❤️